Anger: A Bodyguard
Has anyone noticed the most common form of expression (other than happiness/joy) in society is anger?
-Running late for work: angry
-Argument with spouse/friend: angry
-Wrong order at a restaurant: angry
-Feeling misunderstood by a parent: angry
Some people pose the question, “Why is everyone so angry all of the time?”
Well…people are not actually angry all of the time.
People are actually a million different feelings.
And…
Anger is the one feeling people are the most comfortable sharing outwardly. It is one of the feelings that people are the most accepting of experiencing outwardly.
There is a huge problem with that.
I am not here to give anger a bad rap.
Anger serves its purpose. It is extremely protective. It’s expressive. It is just trying to keep you safe. I understand that.
However…
Anger is also selfish. It hogs the room. It steals the show.
And it leaves you feeling misunderstood, possibly invalidated, and facing further complications after it made its appearance.
I tend to use the visualization of anger as a bodyguard. It is the large figure in front of the nightclub, keeping people out from going inside. It’s the one in front of the door with all of the other emotions inside of the room.
Yes, it appears big, protective, and sometimes scary.
And…it’s most likely not the accurate feeling that people need to be seeing.
It also leaves you viewed in a light that you might not actually want to be viewed as.
Some people enjoy being viewed as tough, intimidating, and strong.
And…it’s just an image. It’s likely not what is going on inside.
People will only tolerate that for so long.
So, what are you supposed to do about that?
I tend to introduce a specific technique with my clients to identify their different levels of emotions. There is a core feeling there; hiding beneath the anger. Once we find that, we can really address what is going on. And figure out how to express yourself to others in a more effective way.
This technique also helps you do a lot of the work on your own. Which is the goal of therapy.
How would it feel to be more in control of your emotions?
Reach out. Let’s explore that together.
